Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize