i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
