She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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