youre lurking in front of me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
