Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
