so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize