i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
