woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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