So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
