i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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