i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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