wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
