If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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