I puked a lego.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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