That's when you crack a 10am beer
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
