IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
