i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
