My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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