He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So vagazzling was a success
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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