either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
