Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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