Tell her she can't have a vagina
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize