Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
