where am i from again
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
