Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
