I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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