I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
