Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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