His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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