U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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