We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
