well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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