once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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