Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
