There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
