i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
