Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
