Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
