bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
