My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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