I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
