Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
