508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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