Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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