He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
