Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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