I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize