I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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