do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
