we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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