My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
