The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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