I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
