4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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