speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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