I skipped work to stalk him.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
