The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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