i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
