I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
