I looked at my own cervix.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
