I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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